Rubbish

So it turns out I'm a rubbish meat-eater. I did mean to have a go at sausages today. Sausages are in the final category of meats I'm planning on having a crack at - stuff that I used to eat but am pretty much ambivalent about. (To recap, corned beef was in the category "stuff I loved", pork scratchings are in "stuff I really don't fancy" and scallops are in "stuff I've never had".) I used to like a sossie sandwich when I ate meat, but I don't miss them particularly. And that's not because I've been scoffing veggie sausages instead, because most of them are rubbish. (Cauldron veggie sausages are quite nice tbh, but only from a tasty-sausage-shaped-food point of view - I'm pretty sure they taste very little like the real thing).

So I was in the supermarket looking at sausages to buy and I spent a fair while looking at them, and longer still trying to decide whether to buy really good quality ones or cheapo bog-standard supermarket ones. I felt I should go for the good quality ones to see them at their best, but I grew up with cheapo bog-standard ones, so that might be a better test. Anyhoo after about ten minutes of indecision these are what I left with:

Hopeless. I just didn't fancy the meaty ones particularly. And that's one of the things that made it relatively easy to become veggie in the first place - I didn't like that much of it especially. So here, with free reign to scoff meat I've ended up with cheese and leek sausages.

This ambivalent category might be tricky. The "stuff I loved" is easy, the "stuff I haven't had" is intriguing, and even the "stuff I really don't fancy" is at least a challenge - this is just something I don't particularly care either way about. Perhaps I should have started with bacon, which was my original plan. I've already mentioned that I don't particularly miss bacon, but back when I last had it the internet hadn't happened. The internet now seems to think that bacon is the best thing ever. So for bacon I'm at least curious as to why I don't miss it.

I will give the meaty sausages a go though - hopefully tomorrow. My plan now is to try both the quality ones and the cheap ones in a taste comparison kind of way. I gues I could also get a selection of veggie ones to try at the same time and compare the lot, but I think I fancy a quorn sausage even less than a pork one, so that might not happen.

Edit: The cheese and leek sausages were also rubbish. The fact that they weren't called Glamorgan sausages should have made me check the ingredients. They've got lots of chick peas and potatoes in them, and that's largely what they taste of. I've had things that weren't meant to be cheesy that tasted cheesier than these, and whilst I could get a hint of leek it was borderline homeopathic. You'd expect these to be called potato and chickpea sausages, and come in a pack with a warning on the back that they'd been made in a factory that uses cheese and leek.

Scallops

Scallops are the first thing I've chosen from my list of meat I've never eaten before. I chose them because they turn up endlessly on cookery shows on the telly, so I thought I'd see what all the fuss is about.


Buying

I did think about going to the local fishmonger to buy scallops for this test. For about 2 seconds. Then I remembered the smell of the place when I walk past it, and thought again. So I had a look around the local supermarkets, but all they had were pathetic specimens. In the end I ordered them from my veg box supplier - it seemed the best option, and they sell them with the corals on, which is what I wanted for the full experience.

So here they are. I had a quick sniff - they smell quite nice. The smell of the sea, not particularly fishy, and reassuringly fresh.

I'd already decided to have them with pea puree - I've seen them served that way a lot of times on cookery programs, and the alternatives ways generally threw more meat at them (black pudding, pancetta etc.) which I didn't want.

So for the pea puree I cooked frozen peas in vegetable stock and butter, blitzed them down until they were smooth, and then seasoned them with a little salt and pepper.

Next I fried the scallops, starting them off in olive oil, seasoning them, throwing a knob of butter in toward the end, and finishing with a squeeze of lemon.

Assembly - big dollop of pea puree in the centre of the plate, scallops on top, little bit of salad with balsamic vinegar dressing - job's a goodun.

So let's give these a go. First forkful (half a scallop (no coral) and some pea puree). And it tastes of pea puree. Except it's got a lump of strange chewiness in it that I'm not finding massively pleasant. Let's try the other half (again, no coral). Yep, pea puree, and a strange texture. Hmm - that's not much of a return for over a quid a piece. But there's still the coral. Ah - that's got a little flavour at least. It reminds me a little of cockles (in a good way, not in a gritty vinegary way which is my over-riding memory of cockles).

OK - let's scrape the pea puree off and try again with a naked scallop. Better, but not by much. There's a mild sweet pleasant taste from the caramelised outside, but there's very little else. It's a bit like chewy sea-air (only with less flavour). It's not unpleasant though, and as I polish off the second one I'm getting used to the texture a tad.

So I scoff the rest and all the time I struggle to find enough flavour to justify eating the thing. Beyond the caramelised bit I'm picking up almost nothing. And yet, and yet, and yet - there's something there. I tried alternating between the pea puree on its own, and then with a little scallop, and whilst I can't really pick up the scallop as a distinct flavour, the scallopy one seems to taste better. Odd.

I'm now thinking the pea puree was a mistake. It's quite sweet, and it's masking the scallop, and to top it all off I haven't got a sweet tooth at all. TBH - I reckon these would be better with some mushy peas which would be less sweet (you can treat this as a benchmark of quite how sophisticated I am if you'd like. There's a better one coming up shortly though...).

OK, time to admit that the report and picture above were from my second attempt at scallops. For the first attempt I tried cooking up a couple and, despite my boast in the last post, I messed it up a little - undercooking them a tad (pan not hot enough), and stupidly forgetting to add a little salt. The undercooking makes the texture a little worse, which then probably made the second batch comparatively easier to deal with.

So, that's six scallops accounted for, what did I do with the other two?

Stuck them in a sandwich - that's what.

That right there is a scallop butty, with tabasco sauce. And ketchup. Scallops and ketchup - together at last! TBH they don't fare much worse than with the pea puree. The ketchup hides them (I get a little of the coral coming through again) but it's much better than a ketchup sandwich would be on its own, even if I can't pin down anything specific that I'd call scallop.

Conclusion

I'm intrigued. There's so little flavour there, but the pea puree was better with them. I find myself wanting to like them, but they're not giving me much to work with. I'm tempted to give these buggers another go later, with something more to my taste alongside them. And if I find myself in a swanky restaurant I'd possibly give them a go so that I can have a pop at them at their best.

As of now though, they're not troubling corned beef for the top spot.

Pork Scratchings

Preamble

This one came out of the blue. I was thinking of perhaps trying either something I used to like once again (black pudding is high on the list) or something I'd never eaten before (scallops, perhaps), but then someone mentioned pork scratchings and I knew that's what it had to be. The reason being that it's the one meaty thing I pull faces at in the supermarket. "Blech!" type faces. I really don't fancy them at all. But thinking about it I used to eat them from time to time before I became a veggie, and I don't remember going off them particularly back then. I think my feelings about them have become more and more negative over time.

For something made from just two ingredients - pork rind and salt - it's about as far away from anything vegetarian as I can imagine, flavour and texture-wise. Greasy crispy pig-skin. I've got memories of the soft, warm, strangely-powdery textured fatty deposits. And the hairs. Blech!

But that's why it had to be pork scratchings. I said in my intro post if you're going to eat meat you should probably eat it all. Well then, there are very few things I fancy less than a pork scratching, so that makes it an ideal test for me. When I read my Corned Beef post back it occurred to me there's no mention of any trepidation at scoffing meat again - and that's because there actually wasn't much at all in that case. A little bit of uncertainty maybe, but nothing more. This is different. I'm genuinely a little unsure about this - it's so unlike anything I've had in years.

The Scratchings

I thought this one should be given the best chance possible, so I looked for good quality ones. After asking for recommendations a friend kindly bought me a bag of these from a highly regarded local butcher. I'd actually seen the very same ones in my favourite deli a couple of days earlier. I made the "Blech!" face then too.

OK, time to give them a go...

First up a bit of packet sniffing. EW! It's... it's... it's... It's "ew!" is what it is. Ew!

Let's give it another sniff. Ew. Still not keen. The shock of the first sniff has worn off a tad, but it's not smelling any more appetising to me.

Okay, let's take a look at these. They're quite small for pork scratchings. Maybe that's why they're "posh".

Oh well, in for a penny in for a pound. Let's start with that big one on the left.

First bite. Crispy. Greasy. Salty... And a word I haven't got in my vocabulary. I want to write fatty or oily or... or maybe greasy again, but it's not. It's something else.

Let's try another. That dark one there. I'm guessing it's from deeper in the pig. It's dry and powdery and doesn't taste of much... until a bit of porky taste comes through. That one's better. Strange texture (not unpleasant just unusual), but that was actually not too bad.

Ok, I'll go for another pale one.

Nope - that one was worse than the first. That one was a little fatty and it collapsed oilily (is that a word?) in my mouth, seemingly becoming liquid. And there's that taste I can't name. It's deep-fat friery. It's not oil, it's cooked oil. Cooked and ever so slightly porky oil. I don't get it. I don't see why you would eat this instead of a nice ready salted crisp (at least those taste nice and potato-ey). Admittedly there's a nice texture to the best bit, but it had that soft melting bit that wasn't nice.

Let's skip forward to about a third of a bag down.

No. Not keen. I don't find them unpleasant per se, just odd. Really odd. They're just so unlike anything I've eaten in such a long time I don't quite know what to make of them. The darker ones are porkier and that somehow helps a lot, but the pale ones taste almost entirely of meat fat, which isn't a particularly strong flavour, and I'm not enjoying the little of it there is particularly. I think 20 years away from it has made it a tough ask for my taste buds right now.

I guess I'm going to get this a fair bit going forward. I'm aware tastes change due to experience (I had to train myself to eat goats cheese, for example. I hated it when I first had it, but it became fashionable as the veggie option, so I stuck with it until I bloody well liked it.) Maybe continued exposure to meat fat will improve my opinion of it? I'll have another pop at the left-overs tomorrow, but I think this one could take some getting used to...

Corned Beef

So first up, the thing I've always told people was the thing I missed the most - and the thing I'd eat first if I decided to eat meat again. A corned beef sandwich.

Yeah, corned beef - it's an odd one. For most veggies the stuff they miss is bacon, or at least something vaguely ordinary like chicken, or tuna, or burgers. For me it's corned beef, black pudding and chicken liver pate.

First things first - actually buying the stuff. I'd kind of forgotten about how it works. I've most-recently seen it plastic-wrapped and ready-sliced in Marks and Sparks deli section, and so that was my first thought. But then I remembered - no, it lives in a strange tapered square tin with a key on. That's the stuff I grew up with. That's the stuff I'm having.

The tin's great. Opening it with a twisty key brought back memories.

Then - jelly! Ooh I'd forgotten about that. Not sure about that at all.

Worse still - congealed white fat at the other end. Ooh - that's not nice! You don't get that with veggie food.

I'm not eating that bit.


There are no tubes at least. I remember finding sections of tube back in the day...


So, on to the sandwich. Let's have a recipe:

A couple of slices of M&S French boule aux graines bread.

Yeo Valley organic butter.

Freshly made English mustard (as a veggie I use it in cooking mainly, so don't have ready-made, cos it goes manky before I can finish it).

2 thick slices
Prince's tinned corned beef.


Pretty sure no directions are needed, so let's cut to the chase.

First bite. The texture's softer than I remember. It's almost sludgy. Ew! Apart from that, it's exactly how I remember it. And yet it's fairly under-whelming. What on Earth was I thinking? It's nice enough, but why would I pick this as the thing I miss most?

Second bite. Actually - that's growing on me. I know it's low rent and dirty, but I rather like it. It's tasty. I'm not sure what it actually tastes of mind, but it sure is tasty. Yeah, I like it.

Apart from the texture.

As mentioned - it's quite sludgy - greasy, too wet, and lardy. I seem to remember it being drier and firmer, and therefore more pleasant. It's a bit strange because the two biggest individual catalysts for me taking the step to become a veggie were meaty textures that I found unpleasant (prawns and tinned steak, fyi), and here I'm after more of one. Was it really this loose, or has the recipe changed?

You know, the more I eat the more I'm enjoying this. I'm coming around to my old way of thinking a bit - I can see why I missed it. I know it's not good quality, but I'm finding it properly yummy.

OK - I've scoffed the lot now, so it's conclusion time. It'll go straight to the top of my meat chart by default obviously, but I'm genuinely a little surprised. My first bite was very much my expectation level - I thought my fond memories were largely seen through rose-tinted spectacles, but - no! It grew on me quickly, and it seems I still like it a lot. I scoffed an awful lot of it growing up, so maybe that's part of it - a return to a childhood favourite.

I'm quite pleased though. I thought I'd been horribly mistaken in going for this first, but I still think this stuff's pretty damned tasty. It's going to be interesting to see how long it stays top of the pile. I suspect it might not last long, and in some ways I hope it doesn't. I like it, but there's got to be better. But then again I did genuinely enjoy it a lot, regardless of the quality of the product. Even if it gets deposed I reckon it'll linger in the upper reaches for a good while...

Intro

OK - first post. Hello. I'm Mark. I'm a 40 year-old bloke. Over half that time I've been vegetarian. Back when I made the decision to become veggie I had loads of reasons that made it seem like a good idea, and it's one I honestly haven't regretted.

Anyhow, a few years ago I realised that almost all of the reasons I became a veggie no longer stand, or are at least much less important to me. I realised I was now a vegetarian mainly because I'd been a vegetarian for so long. So I considered giving meat another go, but somehow never got around to it. Until now.

This blog, then, is me giving meat another go after twenty-something years away, and writing about the experience. Right now I have no agenda - I'm just curious. I have no plans to return to regular meat-eating, and indeed fully expect to return to being a vegetarian afterwards, but will keep an open mind. I'm going to take it easy and perhaps just try something different each week. But I don't plan on playing it safe. I wasn't ever particularly squeamish about meat, and it's a stance that only ever broadened when I became a veggie (it became much more apparent that people who eat meat should probably eat ALL meat when I stopped eating it - why draw the line at dog or horse if you're prepared to eat cow, and why shun the odd bits if you'll eat the best cuts? It's all meat.) So yeah, meat's back on the menu for now. Let's see how this pans out...