Corned Beef

So first up, the thing I've always told people was the thing I missed the most - and the thing I'd eat first if I decided to eat meat again. A corned beef sandwich.

Yeah, corned beef - it's an odd one. For most veggies the stuff they miss is bacon, or at least something vaguely ordinary like chicken, or tuna, or burgers. For me it's corned beef, black pudding and chicken liver pate.

First things first - actually buying the stuff. I'd kind of forgotten about how it works. I've most-recently seen it plastic-wrapped and ready-sliced in Marks and Sparks deli section, and so that was my first thought. But then I remembered - no, it lives in a strange tapered square tin with a key on. That's the stuff I grew up with. That's the stuff I'm having.

The tin's great. Opening it with a twisty key brought back memories.

Then - jelly! Ooh I'd forgotten about that. Not sure about that at all.

Worse still - congealed white fat at the other end. Ooh - that's not nice! You don't get that with veggie food.

I'm not eating that bit.


There are no tubes at least. I remember finding sections of tube back in the day...


So, on to the sandwich. Let's have a recipe:

A couple of slices of M&S French boule aux graines bread.

Yeo Valley organic butter.

Freshly made English mustard (as a veggie I use it in cooking mainly, so don't have ready-made, cos it goes manky before I can finish it).

2 thick slices
Prince's tinned corned beef.


Pretty sure no directions are needed, so let's cut to the chase.

First bite. The texture's softer than I remember. It's almost sludgy. Ew! Apart from that, it's exactly how I remember it. And yet it's fairly under-whelming. What on Earth was I thinking? It's nice enough, but why would I pick this as the thing I miss most?

Second bite. Actually - that's growing on me. I know it's low rent and dirty, but I rather like it. It's tasty. I'm not sure what it actually tastes of mind, but it sure is tasty. Yeah, I like it.

Apart from the texture.

As mentioned - it's quite sludgy - greasy, too wet, and lardy. I seem to remember it being drier and firmer, and therefore more pleasant. It's a bit strange because the two biggest individual catalysts for me taking the step to become a veggie were meaty textures that I found unpleasant (prawns and tinned steak, fyi), and here I'm after more of one. Was it really this loose, or has the recipe changed?

You know, the more I eat the more I'm enjoying this. I'm coming around to my old way of thinking a bit - I can see why I missed it. I know it's not good quality, but I'm finding it properly yummy.

OK - I've scoffed the lot now, so it's conclusion time. It'll go straight to the top of my meat chart by default obviously, but I'm genuinely a little surprised. My first bite was very much my expectation level - I thought my fond memories were largely seen through rose-tinted spectacles, but - no! It grew on me quickly, and it seems I still like it a lot. I scoffed an awful lot of it growing up, so maybe that's part of it - a return to a childhood favourite.

I'm quite pleased though. I thought I'd been horribly mistaken in going for this first, but I still think this stuff's pretty damned tasty. It's going to be interesting to see how long it stays top of the pile. I suspect it might not last long, and in some ways I hope it doesn't. I like it, but there's got to be better. But then again I did genuinely enjoy it a lot, regardless of the quality of the product. Even if it gets deposed I reckon it'll linger in the upper reaches for a good while...